My thoughts on promiscuous clothing, rape culture and modesty

(NOTE: Inspired by a recent Daily Prompt: StumpStumped!

I came across a video by a successful beauty blogger who was sharing her sexual harassment story. This young blogger is criticised all the time for her ‘mature’ appearance and outfit choices. But what I found most interesting about the video was the buzz in the comment section.
Here are some of the comments below
comment-3I totally agree with the comments (3) and (4). I think what people fail to realise is that we don’t live in a utopia where everyone treats everyone nicely. That is certainly not the case and will never be. It’s true that sexual harassment can happen to anyone no matter what you wear but I believe it’s not a good enough excuse to be completely unaware about what your clothes say about you. (4). What people fail to understand is that many people are not as educated as they are as to what is right and wrong, what is appropriate or respectful.

I remember reading this analogy that went along these lines. Say I was walking down the street with my wallet hanging out of my pocket and a robber snook behind me and stole it. As bad as it was for the robber to steal my wallet, my father would tell me that I should have kept my wallet inside my bag. My point, it is illegal to steal things and yet people do it anyways so it’s important to take precaution. Taking precaution by no means support criminals and robbers.

Another thing that bothers me is that fact that people say we are living in a rape culture. In western society, rape is not tolerated and perpetrators are put in jails. Women forget to appreciate the freedoms and liberties that we already have, that our predecessors fought so damn hard for. Women in western society are the most liberated, there are organisations, laws out there specifically for women for our protection although many are unfair and unjust (Brock Turner case).

After reading many of the comments, I was left STUMPED. I began asking myself many questions. These ones are for those youtube commentators and social justice warriors!

  • What is empowering about dressing provocatively?
  • If we are free to dress however we want then what does it mean to be modest or to dress modestly?! In 2016, what does it mean to dress modestly?
  • And why is being modest a virtue not dressing however we want?
  • Prostitutes are known for dressing promiscuously to capture male attention, so how is one supposed to differentiate women dressing for one’s satisfaction or for the satisfaction of others?
These questions draw onto the ideas of modesty. I am a true believer in dressing modestly as it shows humility, character and integrity. But as of today, I feel like the term modesty has been lost forever.
What do you think?

You may also like


  1. It’s funny how girls who dress “modestly” always have something to say about girls who “don’t”. A woman can get raped regardless of what she’s wearing wether it be a hijab, body con dress, bikini or whatever. Anything you fail to realise is that we are living in a world that tolerates tape culture. Women are constantly told “don’t wear that or guys will stare at you” “don’t drink too much or you’ll get raped” “don’t go out because youre putting yourself in danger. How about instead of victim blaming we actually teach these men to keep their private parts and hands to themselves and that no means no and that yes doesn’t always mean yes especially if the person is intoxicated beyond belief. 🙄

    1. I was not targeting women who do not “dressing modestly”. I was talking about the meaning of the word in our century. We do not live in a world (Western societies) that tolerates rape culture. People who commit rape go to jail. If you what to see real rape culture please visit third world countries, let’s say the Democratic Republic of Congo where rape is one of the most prevalent in the world. Drinking too much alcohol is dangerous for both men and women because one would loss concentration , slower reflexes and slower brain activity. Going outside at 3am is dangerous to both men and women. Of course, we should continue to teach men to keep their hands to themselves – this is a given but taking precaution is not victim-blaming.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *